So, today I've done those "endurance dances" again (it mostly consists of jumping to industrial music erratically), and in the process of that, I looked into the huge mirror in my room.
And then pinng! The penny dropped. In the mirror, my naked form did not look a bit like myself. But that's not quite a bad thing - for it *did* look like my ideal mate. Okay, minus the blonde hair and blue eyes and perhaps a few centimetres in height, but you know what I mean. I was turned on by the sight of my sweaty, bloody, scarred, curved self. I mean, that is something, right? Better than just being plain ugly or something. While it's not the *me* I remember... it's actually pretty cool.
Maybe I'll find someone who will remind me of my inner me. Or, maybe I already did, and that's why it was a bit awkward when he tried to hit on me (and perhaps with this insight I could've worked around the awkwardness if he wouldn't have died). But even if I won't, it's still very interesting.
Now, I'm off to rendezvous with my bottle and wish you all a very happy and enlightening New Year!